So you know how it is whenever you move into a new house and have to figure everything out. The groans all seem surprising and cause you to jump. There's that little spot in the hallway that always creaks. And if at out flat, you keep walking out the door and forgetting that it automatically locks behind you. (Tell me you've never experienced that "oh, shit, shit, shit!!!" moment.)
Anyway, as we've long since settled into our place on Clarkson St, I'm not really talking about our house, rather
the Colorado House of Representatives. It's now been about a month since I sought refuge from the daily ho-hum of being unemployed by interning (yes, that means no cash) for one of the Representatives. To say the least, it's been really eye popping to see how the state legislator works from the inside out and to get to know the groans, creaks, shudders and general sing song of the capitol.
Oh and the hissing. Ya, I am totally serious – hissing, and not from water pipes or old hearing ventilators but
from the members!!! I start with this one because I was telling Erin about it this morning and it's really one of the most interesting noises to come from the building.
First, a little background. So I was listening in on the third reading of bills in the chamber last week when this rare phenomenon occurred. Third reading is really important and is the one time when I am really not allowed to be bothering
Rep. Schafer on the floor. That's because third reading is the final reading for a bill in the House and the members must vote on passage – "The question before the House is the passage of House Bill bla-bla-bla" – so no one is supposed to be bugging the members. Ultimately, by the time a bill has made it to this "reengrossed" state, it has been heard in at least one committee (possibly two) and been debated before the committee of the whole, which is a fancy way of saying debated on the second reading before the whole House. Along the way, if there were any amendments to be made – I saw a bill with over 50 amendments the other day – they should have been presented prior to third reading.
Well, because this journey to third reading is so laborious, members hate to hear the phrase, "Mr. Speaker I have an amendment to propose," when it is in the third reading. In fact, before the second syllable of "amendment" is spoken the whole chamber erupts with sanguine S's while the members hiss and stare at the recognized representative with loathing. "Hissssssssssss, (you evil bitch!)" OK, so I added the last phrase as part of my poetic license, but I swear that if you listen closely enough and speak parsel-tongue, you'll hear it. Anyway, because this is so late in the game, the House then roll-call-votes to determine if the amendment will even be entertained. And, if it passes and they then move to read the amendment in its entirety, that's when you hear the groans as members push themselves back into their creaky green chairs.
So far, it's one of my favorite quirks about the House.
Because this has been so much fun for me, I've decided to start doing a little podcasting where I can bring you some of the flavors of Denver. They wont be all that fancy – if you're expecting something like This American Life, give it up – but I'll try to make them short, interesting, and semi-regular. (That phrase should be just enough to get me out of it if they suck or take too much time..."plausible deniability", best phrase I ever learned in international politics.)


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